Have your life changed instantly?.
What triggered your life to change?.
Did your life change for good or bad?.
What was your action or reaction?.
There are so many factors that can trigger a change in your life such as fired from the job that you loved so much,the death of a husband, child,parents, siblings etc.So many people went through tragedy especially with the arrival of uninvited guests known as COVID19 PANDEMIC, DELTA VARIANTS and OMICRON.
There are tables with empty seat in many families. 💺But my life changed on October 5th 2015. I received a phone call about the passing away of my older brother at the age of 68years.I have received phone calls in the past about the death of a love one but this call was different. I quickly went into the seven stages of Grief.
I went into Shock but the shock lasted for few seconds, there was no denial for me but rejection, I did not want to accept it.I rejected the phone call I thought that it was a fake.So I made phone calls to verify or confirm the news but nobody picked up the phone.
Then Disbelief ,the disbelief lasted for couple of days, the Guilt. I blamed myself for not visiting when he called me to come home.The terrible Guilt lasted for a long time. I was extremely sorrowful, I felt like I was choking in my own saliva, Abdominal pain and distress,generalized muscles weakness, feelings of hopelessness, tired,and lethargic. My reaction centered around my mental discomfort with a serious sense of Guilt, anger,unable to pull myself together so I requested a vacation from my manager.
I became very depressed and that was the most challenging situation. I couldn’t shower, eat or do things.There have to be a way,I can’t continue like this.I isolated myself and don’t want to have a conversation. I know that Somatic and psychological reactions of my lost if not managed can lead to Pathological problems. I got to develop adaptive behavior to help me cope such as crying,talking about his death and writing.
When I resumed work ,I focused on my patients doing my best to make them happy but when I returned home after work I felt empty.There must be a way.It hurt so bad but I am not defeated.I must give back to his family members and myself so that I can recover.I had no comforter.I must do something different.
Yes I couldn’t shower ,eat food or comb my hair.I decided that I must attend his funeral so that I can be able to put closures. I traveled to go and say the final goodbye to him.
I t was a long trip,so many people came for his burial. After his burial I was still depressed. I kept thinking about him and what to do to put closures. He was a banker and author of many books. I cannot be a BANKER but I can be an AUTHOR. With serious “Will “I started writing ✍hoping to Bury my excruciating pain.
I started putting something down without a title. I kept writing things down I must come out of this depressed mood for me to function.
I left my job for one month.
Once I started writing my pain and depressed mood started to disappear, and that is the beginning of my recovery.
The more I write the less my pain and finally the depressed mood disappeared completely.
How did you grief?.
Have you recovered from the emotional, physical and psychological pain?.
Did you see a therapist?.
Or cold turkey like I did.
My late brother’s books.
Thank you 😊
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